feeling down

I'm feeling down again today.. my deliveries were delayed and it seems like the flow has stopped.

How I do change this? who will help me? I guess I don't want to receive help and I just prefer running away.. how about another country or another place.. can I start over again?

I've cried so many nights, cant help but feel emotional. Seems like my pain is back to haunt me again. Maybe it all ends here..

perhaps the hurt was so bad it didn't get healed at all.

didn't attend the meeting today, didn't feel like the mood to talk to anyone. I guess it's better this way. to slowly pull myself away. it was never meant to be anyway.

it's always been like that for every phase of my life.. it's becoming second nature to me already.. I would run away from things, people, work, places..

I'm silly I guess and foolish also. Refusing to be helped too. Such pride is useless.