Rain and floods in SG

It's been raining every day in Singapore. Floods in many places. Sigh, somehow feels like my life. The rain doesn't seem to go away.

I have tried to listen to His word but it seems nothing wants to be absorbed into this mind of mine. All the preaching can't seem to penetrate.

Every day there seems to be clouds hovering above me like the weather report. When will this darkness ever end to bring the new season that I long for.

Little dizzy from the days events. Time to get some rest.

bills bills and more bills

bills have been chalking up and I haven't been able to pay up yet.. orders come in but it's not the right ones that I want.. Lord if you really want to help me at least choose the right way.. don't send me in circles having to worry about it..

like seriously even if I want to sell my car it seems really "easy".. and the ad has to be renewed again.. sigh.. waste money again

it's like everything that can go "right will go "right" with me.. oh man I am really such a "success"!

how does a person handle 5 different credit card bills at a time.. you really need a Big God for this.. when is my Big Brother gonna appear and save me? perhaps He will see my teeny bit of faith tonight and open the windows of heaven upon me tonight..

yet I still hope

I said many things and was angry with God for not performing what He was supposed to do, for not coming to my defense.

I blamed Him for not protecting me because whatever it seems like is just not happening for me.

But yet this morning I woke up with little teeny bit of hope. Hoping that all will be well, that future seems so far away.

The year is coming to an end in 2 months. Thus far it seems like everything that can come against me is against me. How can it be said that i have met Jesus. I didn't think it would be this way. Always thought that after meeting Him I would be protected, all my worries would desolve. But it doesn't seem to be this way at all.

Have I been cheated? At the moment I feel as if I have been. By those lies I have been hearing. Want so much now to crush away the least bit of hope that I have now and not hope at all. So that I won't be disappointed.