Friday, 24 February 2012

Curse it

It's been 3 weeks already and still no progress for the resumes that I've sent. Must be some hindering from somewhere. I'm angry, these candidates and interviews are supposed to be mine. Because of who I am in Christ.

Super dislikes the new girl that came in this week. Don't know why I just find her annoying.

Anyway I'm blessed whether or not I I'm in this job. It's just one of the many channels to bless me.


Thursday, 23 February 2012

Terrible mistake

Again my old self is back to haunt me.. My anger that I cannot control myself, leading to me making a break up that eventually I regretted and said sorry and ask to be forgiven

I did it so many times that I still don't learn and I dont even know where I should learn

My new job started 2 weeks ago and now this is the 3rd week I took 2 days of urgent leave already. What is the matter with me

I keep wanting to do things my way and not do anything when I don't like it

That's just me, nothing good can come from me

Jesus is my savior, with Him I have everything and can do all things even though I super don't qualify for it

How to be disciplined? I really can't and I'm really not capable of being disciplined

Jesus help is really all that I need right now

I screw up time and time again it's annoying me even

Why can't I say the right things
Why do I always want to hurt people

I find it difficult to even meditate or keep to a schedule or even try doing it

Even for this I really need help
How is help going to come when I don't even bother to really be diligent about spending time with Jesus

Even if I want to look to Jesus I think I need a lot of help for this too

How what should I do?

It's so difficult on my own , Lord I need you now

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Just 4 days into it

Today marks the 4th day for me back to the workforce, it was really tough for me on the first day. I had no idea what the people were talking about. What to do, what I should say, how I should approach my colleagues. I felt really lousy. But I thank God for His Grace and Mercy for me. I have people at work who are helping me, and I really need all the help I can get. I can't do it alone.

I just want to run to you Jesus. I feel sad that I cannot spend my time as much as I want to at home already. Or time with my partner as much as I used to do. Our time spent together seems to be just minutes. He seems happy or so it seems to me.